2012 | A Year of Action

Here we are, January 1, 2012.  Last year my word for the year was "listen".  I never blogged about it but I lived by it.  My focus had to switch from intense training to living and healing.  In order to heal... I had to listen.   In order to listen, my whole life had to change.

I spent more time listening to my family, friends and even strangers.  I felt like I had been so focused on training, I missed out on life around me.  Getting back to normalcy in this way was very comforting.  I felt alive for the first time in 3 years - I felt a part of life again.

I listened to my body.  I hadn't realized how much I ignored the messages my body was trying to send me.  Long naps and feeling lethargic weren't normal after all.  Being forgetful, spacey and having insomnia weren't the normal perks of growing older.   Through listening I've learned a lot more about the cues my body sends me and how to honor those needs.

I listened to countless doctors and read countless books, articles, blogs and research papers.  In the end... I listened to my own instincts and common sense.  I learned to trust myself.

So what does 2012 hold for me?

In 2012 I see a year where I continue to hone in on my listening skills, but I also see a year with more action.  Rest and recovery have their place, but it's time to start adapting to more activity.

I also see a year where I have more confrontation.  I know what I need now.  It isn't always going to be what others think I need.  I will have to find my voice.

I gathered a wealth of knowledge in 2011.  In the last few months I learned enough to speed up my progress by leaps and bounds.  I'm anxious for this process to unfold.

In my gut I feel I'm in a place of contentment; I'm not searching for as much knowledge to get me through this.  I feel at peace with what I've discovered and the direction I can take my recovery because of it.  2012 is a time for action.  It's time to start pulling myself out of this hole.