As I approach 2012, I can't help but reflect on the past years - the accomplishments and success and then the setbacks and lessons learned. I think 2012 is going to feel like being on top of a mountain after a long treacherous journey - the view is breathtaking and makes the effort it took to get there all worth it. Sometimes I think if it we didn't have to work for it, it wouldn't be as beautiful.
I think we're given hints and subtle messages. When we don't listen something bigger has to happen to get our attention. Some of us (heh hem...) need to be hit over the head with a hammer before we listen, but after that, the message sinks in quite well. In this case I'm talking about metabolic damage from over training and under eating after years of training for figure competitions and losing over 100 pounds.
From 2007 to 2010, I lost 108 lbs. I competed in 2 figure competitions, I even began training for my first powerlifting meet. But what others saw on the outside wasn't a true reflection of what was going on inside - health was the farthest thing from the truth. During the day I had to have at least an hour nap to regain my energy (2 hour naps were common). At night, I couldn't sleep. My blood sugar and blood pressure shot up while my hormones and metabolic systems were shutting down. Yes, sometimes eating "healthy" and "exercising more" is detrimental to your health. It's important to listen to your body people. (it was only a small soap box) When I didn't listen, my body began to fight back in desperation. My body doesn't give a damn about how much I weigh or what size jeans I can wear. It's main objective is to survive.
Were there clues I was overtraining earlier? Yes, of course there were. Possibly a year or more in advance. But, in all fairness, there might have been some other underlying issues that were exacerbating things.
In November 2011, a year after being diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and hypothyroid, due to overtraining and starving, I also found that I had very high levels of toxic metals. I'm not certain this wasn't caused by a sluggish system that couldn't detox efficiently, or maybe the oxidative damage caused by the heavy metals were a contributing factor of my sluggish system. Now, none of that matters - which came first or how they worked together or didn't are irrelevant to my healing.
I've learned a ton in the last several years, and through my road to recovery I've learned even more. I feel like I'm turning the corner just in time for 2012 (something about a "new beginning"). I'm finally done asking so many "whys" and "hows". It's time for action and even more experience. ;)
I'm starting this blog in hopes of focusing on my strengths and developing my love for lifting and not so much for my love of vanity. You see... in the process of losing I found I'm one strong Momma. And I love IT! BONUS! In 2012 I'm getting back in the gym (after taking an 8 month break) and entering my first power lifting meet. "When" is the only question.
Although I have a significant amount of weight to lose from the regain, I'd only like to lose enough to feel good again. For the enquiring minds, that's about 60 lbs. There's still a part of me that quantifies my worth in my weight, but that takes time to get past. Change doesn't come overnight. And as I should never force my body to do things beyond it's limits, I should also not force my mind to do the same.
I hope you'll join me in my next chapter to Unleash the Strength.
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