My Entry for a Green Mountain at Fox Run Giveaway

Doesn't this place look peaceful and safe? 

This week Karen has a big giveaway!  It's a one week stay at Green Mountain at Fox Run.  Check out her blog post here.

I’d like to go to Green Mountain at Fox Run to help break through some of my emotions and reveal others I may not be completely aware of.  I’d like to gain the courage to confront the fear and anger that lurk within me.  This last year I've spent a lot of time practicing self-love, but it certainly doesn't happen over night.  I’m making progress on my own, but it wouldn’t hurt to get more hands on guidance.  Maybe GMFR can help me put the pieces together.

My struggles with weight loss have left me in a very foreign place compared to other times.  In my head I have conquered over eating (Yes, it was a battle), but now I’m plagued with under eating.  I certainly notice the effects when I don’t get enough nutrition, and it does nothing for my metabolism I’m trying to coax out of this place.  Daily I have to listen to the bullshit of "go hard or go home" and "eat less to lose more", all of which I used to live and believe.  Every time I hear this ignorance, it infuriates me.  I’ve learned forcing change is ridiculous yet I struggle with wanting out of this place NOW!

There are a lot of emotions I think I ignore or hope will magically go away.  But truth is I don’t know how to work through them.  I’m doing my best and my heart knows that’s all I can do.   But a few weeks ago I realized I’m still holding a lot of anger.  That came to surface when I read Karen’s post Revenge.  Other emotions I have not fully acknowledged openly and honestly, and almost denied a lot of the time, are feelings of fear, regret and moments of being a failure.  The failure I know is attached to my body image.  In my head I'm an athlete, but my body image states something else.  To me that speaks hypocrite.  Letting go of all this to be in the present has been a tough thing for me to do.  I tend to think too linear and have desperate feelings for change.

I have things to confront and others to become aware of.  There’s no doubt I’ve made strides on my own.  But there’s still some inner work to do; There's still some more loving and accepting I'm after.  I tell myself this is all part of my journey.  It feels yucky but it's good.  It's meant to be. Sometimes I think that's how change happens.  We just keep repeating what we want to believe and one day we will live it.  Whether that's how it happens or not that's all I know. 

Return of Crossfit

Okay, I lied.  Although I still think I'm going with the flow.  A couple workouts later and I'm just not digging the slow reps.  As a matter of fact I'm not digging traditional workouts anymore.  *gasp!* (I almost hated to admit that.)  I quit crossfit because I couldn't afford it, plus I hated that I didn't have a say in my own workouts.  I didn't quit because the training didn't make me feel good.  Actually they made me feel excellent!  Why did I ignore that?

I talked with a crossfit friend yesterday.  I told him I was little confused on how to gain strength while still using crossfit style workouts.  He was confused by my concerns, saying, "I think you're thinking too much."  Who ME!?!?  HA hA! 

But then he says, "I don't think in terms of muscle groups. I think of overall performance fitness."  Between this comment and RC's comment from last week, "What's more important the PL or getting in a groove with your energy, fat loss?"  I just started thinking... I feel more energy when I WOD than when I'm strictly strength training.  I'm starting to feel like the powerlifting goal is getting in the way of my primary goal - regaining energy and fat loss.  I've already come to the conclusion I'm not losing strength.  So what's the flippin' rush or confusion for?  I think part of the confusion was that if I don't belong to a box and I had to join a regular gym, then crossfit was automatically out.  I'm not sure where that common sense came from, but it's definitely not the case. 

As a matter of fact here's 50 free home WODs.

As long as I feel revitalized after these workouts, and I'm meeting my goals, it doesn't make sense to do something else.


February 2, 2012


Strength - Chest Press
WARM UP - bar x 15
WARM UP - 65 x 12

WORK SET - 95 X 10
WORK SET - 115 X 3
WORK SET - 125 X 3

WOD 3 SETS for TIME
RENEGADE ROWS x 10 (15 lbs)


KETTLEBELL SWINGS x 15 (20 lb)



My stop watch quit working, but time average time from start to finish was 8 minutesish.
I haven't sweat like that in a long time.  I think I'm going to have fun with this.  I mean REAL fun.  :)  Time shall tell.


"Appropriate exercise boosts your energy and your sense of well-being. And while some muscle soreness is normal, you should experience energy, mental focus, and a good mood during recovery periods between workouts."  ~Dr. Travis J. Elliott

I'm finding my groove. 

Go With the Flow

During my whole lifting career I've had someone else tell me what to do or how to do my workouts in some way or another.  The 3 years training for figure I had trainers telling me what to do with everything every step of the way.  After figure I had a program I followed for powerlifting (which I never got to complete).  Then I went into crossfit, where I had a coach dictating my workouts.  After crossfit I partnered back up with Mark who also controlled what workouts we did, when, etc.  NOW... I'm on my own.  And it's no wonder I don't trust myself with my own workouts... I've never had to do it alone!

To add to the trust issue, My Monday workout left me so exhausted.  I know that lifting heavy will do this but it was to the point it had a negative effect metabolically.  My mind loved it.  Who wouldn't love to say they deadlifted a total of 8,350 pounds in one session! and had technically reached new recent PRs?  After adding that up for you, I’m sitting here thinking… NO f*cking wonder!  But this is how I've always done it... high volume.  This is what I’m used to.  This is all I really know.

This is also what got me into trouble in the first place.  I have a hard time believing less is more and in my case less really is more.  I’ll preach it all day long.  But saying and doing are two totally different things.  The proof of the pudding is in the eating.  After coming back from only using crossfit as my workout for 6 months, with very little heavy lifting, and having taken 3 months off before this (a 9 month span of not lifting like I’m used to)… I didn’t come back weaker… I came back stronger!

Gabby Reese  Photo by Joe McNally

My previous deadlift PR was 260.  My previous squat PR was 210.  My previous bench PR was 120.  From the time of those PRs, I’ve gained 40 lbs.  If you were to strap on a 40 lb weight vest and squat your max weight, do you think you could do it?  Do you think that squat would feel heavier?  Would be heavier?  What about a deadlift?  And push-ups, and pull-ups, and any other movement requiring you to move your body weight?

Since coming back, I’ve lost about 15 lbs in my squat, 20 lbs in my deadlift and I’ve gained 15 lbs in my bench after putting on this 40 lb weight vest?  Theoretically, I’ve gained in all lifts.  And when I think of it like this and also realize I have no dictators… I can let go and have fun with training!

That is what I did yesterday.  I went with the flow.  I went in knowing what I wanted to accomplish, but not having a set plan.  I listened to my body as I moved through the workout.  And by doing so I have found the routine I will experiment with for the next couple of weeks.  A friend of mine asked that I put this in the open so I could be held accountable.  She knows the trust issues I have with myself. ☺

I won’t go into a long drawn out explanation, but I chose this routine because it warmed me up at the same time it fatigued the muscles without having to do a thousand sets, reps and exercises at very high intensity (like I’m used to).  I have to keep in mind, my top goal is being efficient while avoiding extreme exhaustion.  Train smarter, not harder!  I’m still in the recovery stages of adrenal fatigue.  The reminder that I did very little the last 9 months, but was still able to maintain if not gain strength kept me on track with this routine.

Flat Bench Press
15 warm up bench straight into very slow reps with 3 sec. hold at bottom x 8 (bar)
12 x 95 lb (about 3ish reps from failure)
3 x 115 lb (with 2 sec. hold at bottom)
2 x 135 lb (with 2 sec. hold at bottom – failure)

Close-grip bench superset w/ leg raises
close-grip bench 15 warm up straight into slow 3 sec hold at bottom x 8 (bar)
3 x 3 super slow leg raises

Close-grip bench slow 3 sec. hold at bottom x 8 (bar)
3 x 3 super slow leg raises

Close-grip bench 3 sec. hold at bottom x 8 (bar)
3 x 3 super slow leg raises

That’s it!  My body told me afterwards this was enough.  This morning the lactic acid in my muscles is confirmation.

My next couple of weeks will mimic this rep scheme.  Working on the 3 main powerlifting moves; squat, deadlift and bench.  On accessory work I will use the slow tempo technique.  I will aim for one exercise per body part in addition to the main movement.  I’m also toying around with the idea of the 3rd week being a crossfit style week, working on explosive moves – speed squats, etc.  Leaving perfect timing for my 4th week… recovery week.

Going with the flow allowed me to step out of my comfort zone and find a new style of lifting I really like so far.  It allowed me to design my first workout routine for myself!  How do you step out of your comfort zone?